325 days ago by Sammysmom | 75 views | 3 barks

I Ate a Dead Deer. I got in trouble.

One morning last spring when mommy was getting ready to leave for work she took me outside to go potty. In the woods behind our house I saw a lot of deer walking and I took off after them, not listening to mommy who was yelling at me to "Get Back Here Right Now!".

I couldn't help myself! I ran into the woods and the deer were running everywhere, their white tails flashing! I ran a long time but the all the deer got away. On my way back home, (and I WAS on my back home! Honest!), I smelled something strange and followed the smell to check it out. The smell led me close to the road near my little brother's school. My nose led me right to a dead deer. It was small and probably had been hit my car. I got real close to sniff it and wondered how it would taste. It had already been tasted a lot by something else cause only half of it was left! So I tried some, and you know what? It tastes like CHICKEN! (Gamey chicken though.)

So as I'm chowing down, mommy is far away calling and calling for me but I can't hear her. I had been gone for over an hour and mommy was crying and very upset. She called all our neighbors, animal control, and even the police! I had my collar and tags on, thank goodness! A car pulled over not far from where I was and a nice lady called for me to come over so I did. She got mommy's number from my tags and called her. Mommy met the lady and thanked her so much for finding me.

So while they're talking I go back for seconds on the deer. Mommy was so happy to me, but when she saw me eating the dead deer, she made some very weird sounds with her mouth. (I later learned it's called "tossing your cookies".) Apparently I smelled rotten!

I knew my little black behind was in some serious trouble because she wouldn't even let me ride in the car! She put my leash on me, then SHE got in the car and drove very slowly home with me walking along side the car. How humiliating! I must have heard "BATH" 200 times during that 1/2 mile walk! She yelled it like a four letter word! (And not in the most pleasant tone either!) 

The girls in the Petsmart grooming salon got an emergency call from mommy. When she brought me in and they got a whiff of me, they covered their mouths, held their noses and one shouted "Good God in Heaven!". They were gagging too! Wow! I was potent! But not for long...they scrubbed me so hard I thought they'd wash the black right off me! But if I came across another roadkill cuisine, would I partake? Uh, in a heartbeat!

"Bone" Appe`tit!

Sammy